I met Angela in nursing school and we really hit it off. She was really sweet and just seemed to have the most beautiful personality and I really appreciated this at the time as I had a difficult year emotionally with the passing of my mother and grandmother within a few weeks of each other. It was a very low point in my life and Angela was there for me. Our friendship turned into something more than just being friends. We became lovers and decided to move in with each other. That was the biggest mistake I made in my life.
We both had started new jobs, her in a doctor’s office and me in a hospital. One afternoon I came home from work and Angela was already home as she got off work a couple hours before me. She was on the couch drinking wine straight from the bottle and had already finished off most of it. Now I had known from the start that Angela liked her wine but I had never seen her drink like that, getting drunk in the middle of the day. So I asked her what was wrong and she said one of the doctors in her office was really getting on her nerves and stressing her out. I just let it go. But then it started to turn into an every day thing, with her basically passing out every night around 8 or 9 o’clock. She went from buying bottles of wine to buying boxes of wine then started drinking harder stuff, mainly vodka.
She said it was all stress from her job. I repeatedly told her to quit and find another job. With the drinking came the temper. And first it was just little snips at me occasionally and I took it in stride knowing it was the alcohol talking and not her. She was still the sweetest thing in the world when she wasn’t drinking, but the snide comments and snipping started to get worse and worse.
About six months after the drinking started to get bad, I met another nurse at the hospital, Nancy, and we became friends. I told Nancy I was a lesbian and had a partner and that I’d like her to met Angela. I invited Nancy over to dinner at our apartment. Before she came I asked Angela to please take it easy on the drinking that night and she agreed. It turned out to be a very pleasant evening and we had a great time. Not a week later I came home one night and Angela was on the couch drinking straight vodka over ice. All the lights were out and the TV was turned on with the volume all the way down. The second I walked through the door Angela went into a screaming rage, accusing me of cheating on her with Nancy. It took me hours to calm her down and talk some sense into her and I thought that was that.
At that point I decided that Angela really needed to do something about her drinking so one Sunday morning I told her we needed to talk and I just laid it out, plain and simple and told her she was an alcoholic. Of course, total denial by her. She said she could stop anytime she wanted. So I told her to stop then. She promised to “lighten up” and I told her I was going to hold her to it. She agreed, saying she would limit herself to a couple glasses of wine a day and for a while things seemed to go very well and I thought I had my sweet Angela back again.
A couple of months passed and during that time I was moved from day shift, working 5-8’s to evening shift working 4-12’s and given shift compensation, getting more an hour. Angela started drinking heavily again about a couple months into me working the new shift and she started to go to the local lesbian bar saying she was bored sitting at home without me. A couple weeks of that and she started in on the accusations again that I was cheating on her with Nancy and I am thinking, “What brought this on?” One Saturday morning I found out when I got home at my usual 6 AM. Angela was passed out in our bed and some leather butch babe was sound asleep on our couch, nude from the waist up. There was a half empty bottle of tequila on the coffee table. I turned around and walked right back out the door and didn’t come home until late afternoon. Butch Biker Babe was gone and that half empty bottle of tequila was now empty and Angela was passed out on the couch with the TV turned up almost full volume. I threw out every last bit of alcohol I could find in the house and hid Angela’s car keys and went to bed.
The next day I confronted Angela again about the drinking, not mentioning what I found when I got home the morning before. Angela immediately became super defensive and started in on the accusations that I was cheating on her, that my new schedule was stressing her out and making her drink, and everything else under the sun she could think of. Angela demanded I give her car keys to her. I did and she stormed out of the house. I was off that night. At two in the morning a cab pulled up to our apartment. Butch Biker Babe from a couple of nights earlier climbed out, pulled a passed-out drunk Angela from the cab and carried her to our door. I put Angela to bed, packed my clothes in my suitcase and left. I left a short note telling Angela I had enough and if she decided to stop drinking to call me. I went four weeks without receiving a call then one morning my phone rang. It was Angela making her one call from the county jail. She was pulled over the night before and blew a 0.18 and arrested for DUI. I refused to bail her out.