Rock Bottom

I’ve read a ton of worst roommate stories just to see if I could find a scenario worse than the one I was in with my roommates. Alas I could not find one that came close. Went through 5 room mates, all living in my house.

Roommate # 1: She blasted music all night, stole hundreds of dollars from every one in the house and only paid rent half the time and half the rent asked of her when she did pay. She stayed about 7 months, but was my brothers girlfriend so hard to kick out. Later got money back via legal means and missing rent.

Roommate #2: He is a sibling. Brought home meth heads, alcoholics every other night and got in fist fights that made my walls look like swiss-cheese. As a sibling I let him “squat” in my house for over 2.5 years as it is hard to kick out relatives. I use the term squat as he also skipped rent several months or paid less than what was asked. He had alcohol poisoning on roughly 3 dozen occasions in my house and had sex with probably 50 prostitutes in there as well.

Roommate #3. She showed up as a girlfriend to another room mate. She would also blast music all night and laugh at the thoughts in her head so loud it sounded like one of those toy machine guns. Had the cops called because of her 2 different times and had her ex gang-banger boyfriend show up with machine guns twice.

Roommate #4. Also skipped out on rent few months. Punched holes in walls, blasted music all night. Had sex with roommate #2’s girlfriend and room mate #5’s girlfriend. Unfortunately I’m a softy and let him also squat for over 2 years as he is a co-worker to my sibling. Alcohol poisoning was a monthly event for this individual.

Roommate #5. Definitely waaay worse than even the other four. Also punched holes in walls. Punched holes in doors, punched through lamps, punched through ceiling tiles, punched cars, through bricks at neighbors, spilt probably an accumulated 30 gallons of beer on the carpet. Peed on 3 guests in the house. Yes..I mean “PEED.” Pulled out assault rifle on a few occasions. Filed a police report. Racked up over $30k in damages. Grew up an “entitled” person, so fortunately for him, his parents paid for damages plus some. Someone I knew since I was 4, so let him stay way longer than I should have, but once again I’m a softy. Stayed also about 2 years.

As of now, all ex-roommates are all in prison on miscellaneous offenses unrelated to their stay at my house. You would think my story comes out of Compton. It does not. This is a regular middle-class neighborhood. I know it is my fault for letting this go on for about 30 months with these people, but when they are all heavily intoxicated and have assault rifles close by all the time, it is hard to force them out as I am not an aggressive person. I generally just left my own house to crash at other peoples’ places due to the insanity unfolding. When I use the term: “Blasting music,” I mean car alarms have been set off across the street. The cops were even too nervous to come by as sometimes up to 50 shady people were invited over by the people squatting in my house all with fully automatic weapons. This mob was bigger than the swat team in my town.

Needless to say, no more roommates for me.
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2 Responses to Rock Bottom

  1. oldhat says:

    Had a roommate who kept a one gallon milk jug next to his bed and would pee in it rather than get out of bed and go to the bathroom. Caught another one peeing in the kitchen sink because his buddy was using the bathroom and he HAD to go

  2. PeopleAreCrazyyyyyyy says:

    I can safely say that I have never experienced a urine or fecal collector. However, I do have a nice post about a roommate that is currently being moderated. It includes errant feces and much much urine!!! Smile and thank your favorite deity that you are not them.

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