Yesterday one of my coworkers told me about this site cuz I was telling her about my new roommate and I think it’s a great site so anyway here I go. Tom moved in on January 2. He answered my Craig’s List ad and seemed like a pretty laid back, nice guy with a steady job and all and he had good references so in he moved. Never again will I post with Craig’s List. I get up pretty early. I’m a morning person so at 6 AM I’m up and in the kitchen sitting at the table eating my oatmeal. This was the first morning after Tom moved in. I hear him stirring around in the living room looking through boxes he hadn’t unpacked so I get up to say good morning, be friendly and offer him a cup of coffee. I walk in the living room and there he is, not wearing a thing. The first thing I see is his bent over hairy asscrack as he’s scrounging around in a box. Just the thing a girl wants to see at 6 AM while still having her first cup of coffee.

He just turned around said good morning, pulled a bath towel out of the box then walked into the bathroom like absolutely nothing was wrong. Then he finishes his shower, walks in the kitchen while still drying off, dripping water all over the floor and pours a cup of my coffee that I made without even asking and walks back to the bathroom. A half hour later I tell him I’m going to take a shower and he asks if he can sneak in first real quick. He was in there like 15 minutes, takes a huge smelly shit then doesn’t even bother to use the air freshener sitting right next to the toilet. So that was the first morning.

Sunday is the one day I like to stay in bed, sleep in and maybe read before I get up. Most Sundays I don’t even leave my room until 10-11 in the morning. At 9 AM I hear the TV out in the living room blaring the theme song to one of those damn sports shows they have on before football games. The volume was up loud. Really loud. I get out of bed, throw on my robe and walk out into the living room to see what’s up. There sits Tom in his boxer shorts (no shirt), drinking a beer. He immediately announces that he has a couple buddies coming over in an hour or so to watch the game with him. Wanting to be nice, I said thanks for telling me and ask him if he could turn the volume down a bit as I like my quiet on Sunday mornings. He did, until an hour later when three of his buddies show up and the party starts. By the time the game was over there were empty beer cans and pizza boxes strewn all over the room and Tom is still wearing nothing but his boxer shorts, and the button on the fly had come undone sometime during the game. So now I am catching glimpses of “little Tom” as he sits more than a little drunk in front of the TV. So that was the second day he was in the apartment.

By Wednesday there were still unpacked boxes in the living room. Tom still hadn’t gone shopping and was living on pizza and beer (he at least has good taste in beer). Now there are stains all over my coffee table and end tables in the living room because Tom never uses the coasters that are sitting right on the tables in front of him. I also discover that he doesn’t shut the bathroom door when he pees and he never washes his hands after peeing. And on Sunday it was the same thing with him and his football buddies.

Basically I found out that Tom is really a lazy slob. He finally got all the boxes out of the living room. He finally went grocery shopping this past Saturday. He has yet to lift a finger helping me clean. I want him OUT.
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (6 votes, average: 3.17 out of 5)


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3 Responses to really?

  1. Jayme says:

    I know how you feel on the whole him not closing the door while peeing. My fiance and I are experiencing the same issue with our roommate. He does not clean, lift a finger, or gone grocery shopping. When he tell him to do something it goes from one eat out the other. The messed up part is THIS IS NOT EVEN OUR HOUSE!

  2. Bemused says:

    My disgusting roomie actually took an explosive shit with the door ajar this morning and I was sitting within 10 feet 🙁 NASTY!

  3. Trust me it could be much much worse. My roommates are actually demons from hell. At least he doesn’t do cocaine and bring meth heads into the house.

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