Prison Cell

I just joined the army and been in basic training for three weeks now. I got stuck rooming with Chuck. As my dad says, Chuck is dumber than a box of rocks. Our room is a tiny shithole with concrete block walls and a bunk bed that squeaks and only one desk. I call it the prison cell cuz we can’t leave the base and theres nothing to do except sit in the room when we off duty. Chucks mom wrote his name in all his underwear. When I saw that I cracked up laughing. I swear Chuck don’t know how to wipe his ass. He prolly had his mom do it for him. All his underwear have like huge skid marks in them. His mom prolly dressed him to cuz the dude don’t know how to button up his shirt.

He got in trouble like five times already at morning inspection cuz he buttoned his shirt crooked. He always calls our sargent sir and gets screamed at all the time cuz of that. I keep telling him you only say sir to officers and he just don’t get it. The dude cuts himself shaving all the time cuz he has so many zits so he always has a band aid on somewhere on his face. He drives me crazy with stupid questions all the time. Right before basic he got a new iPhone and he don’t know shit about it so he’s always bugging me asking how to do this, that and everything else on it and I tell him and he can’t remember shit. And the dude freaks me out sometimes. He like stares at other guys in the showers and he stares at me getting dressed and undressed everyday. One dude in our unit almost punched him out for staring at his junk in the showers. He got a boner in the shower once so now everyone calls him Boner. The other night he asks me if I ever been with a girl and I say what the hell do you mean and he says you know, have you ever had sex with a girl and I say yeah, dude like lots of times. And he asks me whats it like. Chuck talks in his sleep to. Like every night. Sometimes I can understand what he says but most the time he just mumbles.
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (9 votes, average: 2.56 out of 5)

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2 Responses to Prison Cell

  1. Alex says:

    Tallsam – You sound like a bully. This poor guy who is looking to you for guidance. All you do is laugh at him, mock him and call him names along with the others. Give Chuck a break and stop being such a douche. You’re the worst roommate.

  2. Mitch says:

    So this guy has been sheltered his entire life, maybe for good reasons you don’t know about. You are being mean, why? because other people are? His mom most likely put him there to come out a man and not be the way he is, no need to beat him up mentally. Maybe you should learn some patience with dealing someone slow, he could have down syndrome. That might be the guy willing to run through fire and a bomb field to save your life, because he thinks you are is friend.

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