My roommate got into the Tinder and OKCupid scene after dropping out of college, gaining a bunch of weight, and becoming someone who had a very low self-esteem. I’m all about the online dating scene (I mean come on, we’re millennials). She didn’t just meet guys though, she met sketchy ass men online and brought them to our apartment. I know she was having a hard time so I let her do her thing. It was a new guy almost everyday. They came over, smoked weed, hooked up, and then they would leave. If I had to guess, I would say I crossed paths with at least 40 – 50 different men in my living room over a 4 month period.
One man in particular came and never left. After about a week, I mentioned to her that I had noticed he had been sleeping over every night since he had gotten there and wanted to make sure he wasn’t getting too comfortable. She assured me that he was gone during the day and came back to spend time with her at night. I was spending a lot of time at school preparing for finals and figured she was telling the truth. I hadn’t been home a lot to say otherwise. Soon after that conversation my semester was over and I was home a lot more during the week. After two weeks of him staying with us, I had started to realize he never left to go to work or to see friends or family. Come to find out, not only was this man unemployed, but he had just gotten out of jail for a very serious domestic violence charge and was homeless. Our third roommate and I told her he could not stay there and needed to leave. He was not to be left at our apartment when she was at work (which she had done a couple of times already).
The fighting went on for weeks. It had taken so much out of me that it almost put me in the hospital. I mostly felt betrayed because I had helped her pay her bills when she needed help, offered her food when she couldn’t afford it, and had been her friend through everything the last few years.
I feared for my safety when I was asleep because her and I shared a bedroom and sometimes I’d come home late at night and they were asleep in her bed. This was very wearisome on our friendship as she became angry and irate when I mentioned her “boyfriend” needing to leave. We tried to warn her of his intentions because he had basically hit the jackpot with her. She had low self-esteem so all she needed was someone to tell her she was pretty and she gave up everything. She was feeding him, housing him for free, and buying him clothes. She was even letting him use her car while he was at work. He claimed he was going to become a famous rapper and would one day thank her…….really? He understood my other roommate and I didn’t want him there so he started coming at us and trying to argue with us about our apartment and how he just needed some help. WHAT?! THIS ISN’T EVEN YOUR HOUSE!
He told me once he hit the Forbes list he would make sure to let the world know we were his haters (you can’t make this up, people).
Eventually it got so bad I moved out of my beloved apartment and back to my parents an hour away. I commuted an hour to school both ways the remainder of the year until I graduated. Our third roommate did the same. Now my ex-friend had to take on rent with her “boyfriend” who soon left her after that. They continued to live in the house together because he still needed a place to stay and she couldn’t afford the rent by herself. They lived in separate bedrooms and his facebook feed was filled with comments about meeting other girls. So not only did she lose her friends, she lost this man she thought actually loved her, and had to pick up a tremendous portion of the rent for the next 6 months. I am a true believer in karma and karma hit her real fast. She never went back to school so she now works at a budget chain restaurant for barely any tips and smokes weed until she can’t see straight.
Thank you, Allana for teaching me best friends can make the worst roommates. I wish you the worst of luck.