So here is my story, from less than 2 days ago. I apologize for the length, but it’s intricate. It began last summer, sometime in late July or August, my memory is a little shit with dates. One of my best friends who was living with me for about 6 months to a year started dating a girl, that got him hooked on drugs. I started to notice when he would disappear during the month right as rent was due, then give me a half ass story when he got back and paid up. After a few months I told him, “I love ya buddy, but one more time and you have to go”, and he agreed but wouldn’t admit to why he was always late but made about 2000+ a month. His rent was never more than 650. I had been saving for months, and knew it would come around where he vanished. He didn’t respond to me, my fiance who lived with us, or our fellow friends. After 3 days I become incredibly worried and contact his mother online.
She finally finds him at a family members , where they tell him to talk to me. He’s been on heroin, has no money, lost his new job I advocated against, and finally confessed it all. He understood the scenario, and took it all with grace when I asked him to leave. 2 months later he gets his things and leaves, and I thank the fu**ing heavens I saved up for months in preparation as our rent was about 1150 at that time. Immaculate new complexes in the safest area of town after our last living conditions.
Not a day later, I move in a friend (A) I had known for a few months that broke up with his gf when I first met him, and was staying at his sisters. She recently kicked him out, and he was couch surfing. I’m a solid judge of character, and invited him to stay at our place “for a few weeks”. My fiance (L) wasn’t thrilled, but took it in stride and soon our little trio began to really enjoy living together. We bullshitted and joked about the job he and I shared, and cracked up 24/7. Bills were paid, money was good, company was better. But then I made the mistake of introducing him to my sister.(S)
Now, she has always been a wild one, but I’ve always loved my older sis. She lived with me once before and while it had some issues, it was always great and I begged for her to move in with me for a months. They meet because I thought they would be great together, and really deserved each other. I was right, and it really bit me in the ass recently. A “few weeks” turned into months, and it’s nearly November and our lease expires soon. We all decide to continue splitting the rent in fourths, half a couple. MY fiance and I are fighting, and I’m going through the worst period of my adult life yet, and things start to go south. But we hold it together and she and I renew the lease on the last possible day, literally. We break up for about 2 weeks, patch it up and go on. We don’t leave, we never move out, but it’s rough and we get through it. A and S are not on the lease. Claiming they didn’t get the application fee yet. This continues for months. January lease is renewed. I push for weeks to get them on it, but they drag ass. Excuses excuses. Gives me a lot to stress on but it doesn’t wind up being an issue outside of liability.
There start to be some tensions. I have a great friend from home who was recently nearly killed in an accident, but we had plans for months to a year to spend time together. Once he recovers, he visits for about 3 weeks in September 2015. Really great time, as my fiance and sis have known him for years. Hes a brother in many ways. But A has issues with him, and gets jealous. Never mentions a word to me of course. So my friend (K) comes up with me for a few days at a time over the next 6-8 months, with me always telling everyone well ahead of time, with not a word in opposition as we all love him, right?
Wrong. This eventually begins to get thrown in my face by A and S. I finally have enough of it and the visits are shorter, less often even though I always pay for his expenses while here such as feeding and such. Very calm and humble person K is. Yet this begins the downfall. I quit my job in March and immediately get a new one 44 hours later. After 3 years, a new job that starts in three weeks. I tell everyone weeks ahead that during my time off I’m bringing him up. He comes up for 3 days, 2 nights. Great time, great progress made in our projects. However some tensions are building up with A & S apparently, unbeknownst to me. I’ve only ever had one rule, and that was regarding notifying everyone of guests in advance, which I’ve always followed. He leaves and I return home. It’s thrown in my face again, and I tell them I’ve had it, that he’s been around longer than anyone in my life and is family, and should be treated as such. That I’ve followed a policy we have all agreed on.
SO, heres the finale. A month ago A has a friend over for a few minutes, an old buddy from years back. Nice guy really, but they quickly leave to go drinking. Come 2 am, I always wake up at 8 am, and they stumble through the doors. A, S, and friend. He passes out somewhere and apparently leaves in the morning without notifying anyone and leaves the door unlocked to the apartment. I’m pissed, but try to calmly explain why I’m upset with that. They understand, give a weak apology, and I let it go. Not too big a deal, right?
Wrong again. Last week, A’s friend comes up again to hang. I don’t care one bit as I’m heading out to get a drink myself with work colleagues anyways. At 9pm as I leave I look at A and say “if friend is too drunk and needs to crash, just let me or L know in advance. Just tell one of us so I know what to expect when I get home. He acknowledges and I leave until 1am. I come home after sobering up with some fast food and water for a few hours to find L up and drawing. We both begin to draw and watch tv, just having a chill night. She goes to bed at 2 am, and not five minutes later, here comes A,S, and friend, who is absolutely plastered. They place friend on couch and give him a blanket. MY couch I’ll add, as everything in this place outside of the room A & S share is mine. He promptly begins to vomit on himself. I’m done, and go to bed slamming the door, a moment of weakness. Giving them a day to apologize while I cool off, I don’t mention it the next night, Saturday. Everyone is in a great mood and I don’t want to ruin it over something this truthfully minor. But it comes up the next night in conversation, and I mention that it was really shitty and rude, and that I felt it was incredibly disrespectful to not extend a courtesy text as we agreed to. tHis becomes a huge arguments of K being thrown in my face, which i again defend as irrelevant to this discussion as a drunk no one knows but A on the couch who leaves the doors unlocked is not the same as K who is half crippled and sleeps in the extra room on the old broken futon and hasn’t been here in 2-3 months. This ends and everyone buying Cabergoline online https://www.topcanadianpharmacy.org/product/cabgolin/.
Until Memorial Day. They ask me while at A’s parents house my opinion on bringing an 8 year old down to play video games when I have to be up for work the next day at 8am. I don’t ask for permission or consent from them, but they ask me my opinion and I express that I don’t thinks it’s a great idea. Sis asks me “so is tonight probably not a good night?”, i say yes, tonight’s probably not a good night. I don’t say they can’t, I just express my opinion as she insisted on. 20 minutes later I get a text from A, a very angry petty text claiming if he wants to bring his sibling up, he’s going to, that they pay as much rent as we do. “On that note, going forward, that’s going to change”, claiming that since we have the master bed and bath, and they insist the extra room is off limits even though I have always made it open, even given them the password to that computer and let them use my guitars any time with no questions or warning. He says if she wants a 5 year old yorkie, she’s fucking getting one. That if I don’t agree to split rent differently, that we can look for new roommates.
I don’t get strongarmed by an insecure man-child who isn’t on the lease, and I don’t get disrespected through text with random complaints of groceries and my CAT EVEN that have never been uttered to me or my fiance before from either of them. I told him “Rent is not changing, we agreed to that months ago. Issue with that? Get the fuck out. We are not getting a 5 yr old dog in this apartment, a dog you don’t even want. Issue with that? Get the fuck out. The cat isn’t going anywhere, she’s on the lease by name when you refused to sign it for 8 months. Issue with that? Get the fuck out.”
Sis says nothing for a while, as he keeps spewing nonsense and I tell him to calm down. She finally speaks to me, exclusively text, and claims he is in the right and his frustrations are justified. I give them three options. option 1, to stay and make it work, no guests and all groceries split for the next six months. Option 2, leave on good terms. Stay for an extra month or two until we can all save enough to break the lease together and go separate ways. Option 3, leave without helping to pay to break the lease or the cleaning fee, and just leave immediately. She insists i communicate this through text. I tell her I’d rather discuss it in person.
My own sister doesn’t tell me the plan, which I told her I’d support in either case. She doesn’t tell me anything. I stay up until 130 am waiting for them to come home, they don’t. While I work the next day (Tuesday) they come by, pack some bags, and leave without speaking to me or my fiance, who was home at the time. I assume she made her choice. She justifies it still, even today. I stay up until 3 am helping organize and find their possessions throughout the living room and kitchen, and even pack half of it in moving boxes I saved for when we move. Theycome by today to get “Everything” while I’m at work, as I told her to do. Tells me they couldn’t get the big things. I come home to find the only thing I can see they took was their bedspread, and the acoustic guitar she knew I loved that was hers.
Not a great or well written story, but it’s been the past year of my life living with people. I’ve been abandoned twice, once by a friend again by a sibling, an older sibling and her even older boyfriend. I’m financially ruined as they will not help pay the rent with their supposed “month notice”, which they explained is we have a month to get rent figured out without them. So yeah, my past year of roommates in a long ass story.
TLDR; lose friend to drugs, kick out. Lose sis to asshole, they leave of their own choosing, leaving me financially ruined for now, sis refuses to acknowledge what she did.