A PHD in being a dick

Soooo about 9 months ago, I was in need of renting a room somewhere close to the subway. After several weeks of doing the whole interview/looking at rooms process I finally found the perfect fit. It was a 3-bedroom unit in a huge complex overlooking the bay, with a swimming pool, tennis courts, cheap laundry mat in-house, etc. All for $630! (Where I live this is a complete steal). Upon meeting my two new roommates, I learned both are kind of passionate about their video games and anime. Not really my style but I nerd-out on Star Wars, hip-hop culture/music in general, movies, writing, etc so I still thought it would work.
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Mr. Stress

I’ve been living with Tim for almost a year now. I work with him. He’s a really nice guy and will bend over backwards for anyone in our office. Always a smile on his face- a bit of a sloppy dresser (wrinkled shirts, torn cuffs on his pants). I never heard him say a bad word about anyone, so that’s why after he got divorced and his ex got the house I told him he could take the spare bedroom in my house. Everything started out fine for about the first couple months but now he is driving me bonkers.
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The Bathroom Feud

So, I have a roommate-who i’ll refer to as “Only” because she fits the only child stereotype to a tee. Anyways, I knew Only was going to be a handful from the beginning but we needed a fourth roommate. And at first it was better than I planned, a few hiccups here and there but manageable. But then it got worse. And worse. All leading up to her pounding on my door while I was sleeping, barging in and yelling at me at the top of her lungs. Seriously who thinks this is an appropriate way to wake someone up????
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Things…… that make you go GAAAAAAAAH

Okay… I dont know if anyone will believe all of this but here I go… I might make this a 2 parter if it gets to long……..

I have as many on this site terrible roomates… I’m about 3yrs older than them (i’m 22)..I don’t think their age should excuse them though…for example:
The latest thing they’ve done poisoned my pet rabbits making them so I had to rush them to the vets… (and left me with a massive vet bill… as they thought it would be halarious to give them alcohol…)..but since they claimed to know nothing about what happened or how that could happen… I can’t apparently blame them… it was hardly a ghost.. the vet wasnt to happy with me either.. if I hadnt been going to him for years, he said he’d have reported me…! (the poor little things… had to have their little stomachs pumped… etc).. (My goldfish kinda of died around the same night…)
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Disgusting

Last year, going into my freshman year of college I decided to stay in the dorms. I randomly selected a roommate since this was a themed dorm, and their “matching system” was rumored to not work well. We emailed a few times and she sent me pictures of herself, which I didn’t mind because I figured she was just being friendly. I mean I thought it was a little odd that she kept sending me pictures, but I shrugged it off as nothing. The first couple days or so were fine, however as soon as she started to unpack she just threw her stuff everywhere on her side, and since that day it just became worse and worse.
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Just Disgusting!

Where do I begin?
Got saddled with three unfortunate excuses for roommates during summer holidays one year. There was the fat one, (who i’ll refer to with various names here), the thin one (who dressed like Wally from Where’s Wally) and the straight up idiot.
So, move in first day. Right away I spot something’s possibly not right. Two out of three roommates are there. Thin Wally apparently is staying with a friend until the paperwork adding to the lease can be sorted, which will take a few days (not surprising), Idiot Boy is still unpacking his gear (which includes computer bits with thrift store price tags) and Miss Piggy’s sulking.
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Wow? Wow!

So I just read a previous story called “Wow” about a guy whose roommate masturbated right out in the open with him in the room every night. Dude, you are not alone on this one. Two years ago, my sophomore year, my roommate Kevin did the same thing and it started out pretty much the same way. All was fine for about the first week rooming with him then one night I started to hear a lot of rustling around on his side of the room about a half hour or so after the lights went out and quickly figured out what he was up too and just ignored it- after all, I did the same thing myself more than a couple times the previous year after I thought my then roommate was asleep!
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