Terrible Human

Sarah and I were friends before she started dating my brother Justin. Fast forward three years. Sarah joined the Air-force and left the state. She was hurt by a stranger at her new assignment and was transferred back home for medical reasons. She moved into a two bedroom, one bath house with me. Consequently, so did Justin. It has been eight months since she transferred back home, only eight months since she leased this house with me. In that time, I have decided she is the worst human being on the planet.
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The Vampire

I’m a freshman at a small private college. I found out who my roommate would be a couple months ago and sent him a pretty long email telling him about myself and all that stuff right away and didn’t get an answer back for like a week. His name is Matt. All the answer said was “Whatever. I’ll see you in a month” so right away I’m thinking what’s up with this dude? On move in day I get to the dorm and there is an old beat-up suitcase and a couple boxes on one of the beds, a sheet covering the mirror on the door and an upside-down crucifix hanging on the wall over the bed and no sign of my roommate, so I just started unpacking and setting things up. I finished then went out to eat with my parents before they took off back home. I got back to the dorm pretty late and there was still no sign of Matt. Everything was just where I left it before we took off for dinner. The rest of the evening I spent walking up and down the hall introducing myself to all the guys then around midnight I decided to hit the sack. Still no sign of Matt.
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morning person

I grew up sharing my bedroom with my little brother so I guess I’m use to living with someone in a small room but my roommate who everyone calls Goofy is driving me crazy cuz he’s a morning person. I mean a really early morning person. He gets up at like 5 every morning.

Then he turns on his desk light and starts doing push ups and sit ups in the middle of the floor every morning. He tries to be quiet and stuff but the room is like 12 feet by 12 feet so thats sort of impossible. After he’s done exercising he gets on his laptop so I hear him typing and I hear all the sounds that his laptop makes cuz he don’t turn down the volume.

He stays up really late too and I don’t know how he does it with so little sleep. I mean he sleeps literally like four hours every night and thats it. I finally went out and got some ear plugs the other day so at least I don’t have to hear him when he’s up. He never leaves the room too. Its like he doesn’t have any friends or something so I don’t get any privacy to do stuff. At least with my little brother I could kick him out and lock the door for a few hours.
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nude dude

My roommate isn’t all that bad really. He’s cool, laid-back, funny and all that and has a ton of neat stories about his life. He’s an only child and both his parents are in their 60’s and what he calls old hippies. He was born when his mother was 45. He’s very much into natural everything and is a strict vegan (but he smokes so go figure) and I’d say his one big fault is constantly lecturing me and everyone else about all the crap we eat and how bad everything is for us. He’s traveled all over the world too which is real cool. Here’s the thing, though. Move-in day and he gets to the dorm about an hour after I did. We meet for the first time and are talking as we set up the room. He doesn’t have much stuff and neither do I. He was being very polite and asking me if it was okay to put this here and that there and all that when he asks me if it’s okay for him to put some pictures on a common shelf we share. I said of course, go ahead and out they came. The first one was a picture of his parents. Big deal, huh? They’re on a beach and both naked.
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The Selfish Pill-Popping Nurse.

rude-noteSo it’s my freshman year of college. I met my roommate online (lets call her Alaina), and we got along great. But then move in day rolled around and things already started going down hill. She got there an hour before me and was mostly unpacked, but left her half empty boxes all over the place so I couldn’t get any of MY stuff in to unpack.
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48 Three-year Olds

This is my senior year at college (a large midwestern university) and I have lived in the dorms the entire time. The first three years were in the same room with the same roommate and he was great- quiet, respectful of my privacy, friendly- just an all-around nice guy. But he graduated last year so this year I decided to become a resident advisor since that means getting a room to myself and a nice break on the room and board expense. I knew going in that there would be times I regretted it (guys getting locked out of their rooms at 3 AM and stuff like that) but I had no idea what a hassle it really is.
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What da F***?

I got good references on this girl, a friend who knows her said she would be a great roommate but now all I want is her out of the house. Lucky I only did a six month contract with her and I own the house, so in one more month this bitch is going to find all her junk piled on the front porch and the locks all changed. I already told her I’m kicking her out and the bitch doesn’t believe me because she thinks she’s such a nice person.
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