What the hell?

I’ve known “Tom” for six years now. For three years I worked with him, then he left that job for a better opportunity but we stayed friends. Ten months ago he broke up with his partner of ten years. They had purchased a house together early in their relationship and at first thought that they could continue living together as roommates and keep the house, but things didn’t work out and they put the house on the market. The house sold pretty fast. I have a spare room in my house, needed the extra money so I offered it to Tom for a dirt-cheap rent of $300.00 a month, including everything but food. About a week after Tom moved in he asked me if I minded if some friends of his came over- a Gay couple, one guy in his 60’s and his boyfriend in his 30’s.
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I haven’t even moved in yet and I already hate him

So I imagined I would be excited about moving into my first flat, but my future flatmate has already turned into an absolute nightmare. To begin with, he tried to overcharge me 300 pounds on the deposit, which the landlord thankfully caught. He tries to claim innocence but seeing as his own deposit was the right amount and the previous tenant ( a friend of his ) hadn’t paid their half of the rent which is suspiciously close to 300 pounds, I’m skeptical.
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The worst

This girl is the worst. Let me just say I’m no prefect roommate, suffer from no OCD, in fact most people that know me would say I’m messy. I clean once a week with the assistance of a bottle of wine. My current roomies for the past nine months is a nightmare. She is a disgusting slob in her own room. This is coming from a disgusting slob in my own bedroom. She loves to horde weeks worth of dishes in there. They don’t leave until we bitch for a few weeks that we have no dishes. Mind you my other roommate and myself work at restaurants. So we’ve stolen enough to plates, bowls, glasses, and cutlery to last the average slob a month. Like if you only clean them every three days we will not run out. Then when she does clean them; they still have food and surprise paint on them. We share a bathroom which she neither cleans nor buys supplies for. I mean not even toilet paper.
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Hypocrite bitches

So I had to move out of my old apartment because it was being sold. I was really pissed because I had done all kind of renovations to it to make it prettier, and then the owner tells me she’s going to sell it.

I looked for a big place, since I have a dog, and I found this 3-story house in a rather sketchy neighborhood. It was a 4-bedroom house but there were only two girls in it: a geologist and a criminologist. I told them I had only two priorities: sleep before midnight and that my dog be in good conditions. They said they loved dogs and they both worked at 9am so none of those things would even be a problem. We got along quite well at first, but little did I know…

1. When I started moving in, they were both on vacations so I cleaned up the WHOLE house. Where I found dissected old dog poo in the attic, RAT POO IN THE OVEN, amongst several hoarding collections of cups, cutlery, piggybanks (yes, piggybanks) and a very moldy washing machine. This is where I should’ve ran away, but no. I didn’t.
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I’m an atheist who is so desperate for help I prayed before bed for God to make my roommate less of an asshole

My girlfriend and I recently moved into a beautiful new house with my friend Kevin. Kevin and I formed a friendship quickly and I was excited to move in with him. Very soon I realized that Kevin is a piece of shit.
It started out when my girlfriend and I filled the kitchen with our own food (we eat pretty healthy so it’s a lot of organic and EXPENSIVE food items) Kevin started eating all our food without asking. And never cleaning up. Not too bad right? Just really annoying. Then. Kevin started “borrowing” all of my things without asking. Then never returning them. I would have to wait until I saw him wearing my favourite sweaters to ask for them back. Then breaking point number 1 happened.
1. Kevin dropped his sentimental-one-of-kind watch down the sink. And since Kevin is basically a child, my girlfriend and I asked if he’d like us to try to get it out for him. He replied with “sure”. So my girlfriend and I literally took the ENTIRE sink apart then had to buy new parts for it to build it back together after retrieving the watch. When we got home, we brought him to his bathroom to show him that we retrieved his beloved watch then went on to explain the troubles we faced getting it, in a comical way. His answer was “oh. Well I never asked you to do that.” And walked away with his friend he brought over. We did this for him out of the goodness of our hearts and didn’t even get a thank you.
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Distant family roomates

My cousin Brittiney and her boyfriend Robert have a daughter together named Aaliyah. Brittiney and I had a decent cousin to cousin friendship prior to living together. In the past I would stop by from time to time to hang out with her while she was living at her mothers house. We would talk about old times an family reunions, sometimes we even smoked a jay an laughed constantly at Dave Chappelle shows. Robert an I had somewhat of a decent friendship though I didn’t know him as much as I know my cousin Brittiney. One day Brittiney decided to call me an present the idea of the three of us splitting rent 3 ways, she said she has already found a location an the price was reasonable. At the time I was paying 1200 for a 2nd 2 bath condo, I figured it was an excellent move to jump at the opportunity to lower my rent from 1200 to 366 a month atleast until I graduate college.
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Evan the Idiot

I am finally out of that closet called a dorm room and glad of it. Evan was my roommate. He was a sophomore and I was a freshman. Like the third day after I moved in with Evan I met his roommate from last year and he just looked at me and said “good luck dude.” It took less than a week to find out what he meant. So like the first thing Evan liked to go through my stuff. He would open my dresser drawers, go though my desk drawer and use my laptop without my permission. I cut him off my laptop real quick by putting a password on it. I told him to stay out of my stuff but he still kept it up. I could tell because when he looked though my stuff he left it a mess.
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