nude dude

My roommate isn’t all that bad really. He’s cool, laid-back, funny and all that and has a ton of neat stories about his life. He’s an only child and both his parents are in their 60’s and what he calls old hippies. He was born when his mother was 45. He’s very much into natural everything and is a strict vegan (but he smokes so go figure) and I’d say his one big fault is constantly lecturing me and everyone else about all the crap we eat and how bad everything is for us. He’s traveled all over the world too which is real cool. Here’s the thing, though. Move-in day and he gets to the dorm about an hour after I did. We meet for the first time and are talking as we set up the room. He doesn’t have much stuff and neither do I. He was being very polite and asking me if it was okay to put this here and that there and all that when he asks me if it’s okay for him to put some pictures on a common shelf we share. I said of course, go ahead and out they came. The first one was a picture of his parents. Big deal, huh? They’re on a beach and both naked.
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The Selfish Pill-Popping Nurse.

rude-noteSo it’s my freshman year of college. I met my roommate online (lets call her Alaina), and we got along great. But then move in day rolled around and things already started going down hill. She got there an hour before me and was mostly unpacked, but left her half empty boxes all over the place so I couldn’t get any of MY stuff in to unpack.
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48 Three-year Olds

This is my senior year at college (a large midwestern university) and I have lived in the dorms the entire time. The first three years were in the same room with the same roommate and he was great- quiet, respectful of my privacy, friendly- just an all-around nice guy. But he graduated last year so this year I decided to become a resident advisor since that means getting a room to myself and a nice break on the room and board expense. I knew going in that there would be times I regretted it (guys getting locked out of their rooms at 3 AM and stuff like that) but I had no idea what a hassle it really is.
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What da F***?

I got good references on this girl, a friend who knows her said she would be a great roommate but now all I want is her out of the house. Lucky I only did a six month contract with her and I own the house, so in one more month this bitch is going to find all her junk piled on the front porch and the locks all changed. I already told her I’m kicking her out and the bitch doesn’t believe me because she thinks she’s such a nice person.
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My dorm only has two triple rooms and I got one of them which is sort of okay because our room is like twice as big as all the other rooms. One of my roommates, Bob, is real cool. He’s super friendly and we have a lot in common so we hit it off right away, but the the other one, Jim, is a nightmare. The dude is a basket case who totally obsesses about everything. First, he always has to have the door locked no matter if we’re in the room or not.
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Best Friend

M and I had been best buds since 2nd grade and knowing someone that long, you would think you would be able to move in and live with him with no problems. Boy was I wrong. We applied to the same university on the same day, got our acceptance letters the same day and everything was great! No brainer that we would get a dorm room together, after all we hung around with each other constantly any way. I had known M was kind of spoiled his entire life. His mom did everything for him but wipe his butt. She even cut up his meat before serving him his dinner! So of course the first thing I find out is that M doesn’t know how to do a thing on his own. Laundry? Nope. Cleaning up? Nope. Nothing. I’m not kidding.
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Chester the Molester

This was a couple years ago and I had just moved across country because there were no decent jobs where I was living. I started out staying with a friend, but he only had a one bedroom apartment and I was sleeping on his couch. The apartment complex where he lived was pretty big and had a message board in the lobby where people would post for roommates wanted, so I posted a message saying I was looking for a place and within a week I had a couple prospects. The first guy smoked so that was out. The second guy, although he seemed a little strange, was nice enough so I took a room in his apartment. When I told my friend who I was staying with who I was moving in with, he said “Oh- him. He creeps me out!” I asked him why and my friend told me that he was out at the pool one afternoon with his girlfriend and the guy started hitting on him. I asked my friend if the guy was gay and he said that he never saw the dude with other men, just women.
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